What is strength? Yes a cliche question. But truly I don't know the answer. Everytime I feel like I am strong, something stronger punches me in the gut and knocks me out.
I thought strength was my father carrying me on his shoulders and walking me around Disneyland, then I thought it was me kicking through one inch wood boards in Karate class, maybe it's seeing the local homeless man sell pens for his dinner, or my mumma surviving when the doctors said she wouldn't. But strength looks different for everyone; strength is different for everyone.
I have learnt that strength never just comes and goes, it is ever-present but things come into our way which challenge our inner strength. They hit you like a shit ton of bricks or they brew over a prolonged period of time and when it rears it's head into our lives, our strength all but fights back.
But in those trying times, it's our strength that brings us back up. It's our strength which helps us to wipe away tears and get up from our bed, it's our strength which makes us stand for ourself and fight back. I have had my fair share of dark nights, I have let my fears take over and forgotten where inside myself my strength lies.
What I have learnt is that I am not strong all the time, and that is ok. It's ok to not be strong, to not fight back and it's most certainly ok to cry. I now know that acknolwedging the times when I am 'weak' is what makes me stronger.
A close friend of mine recently introduced me to a technique called 'noting'. It's all about acknowledging how you're feeling, acknowledging a lack of strength, taking some deep breaths and coming back to the bigger picture. This is something I have been trying to do whenever I find my strength is challenged and helps me to regain control of my strength. For more, check out this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjI9v-VYwZY
I can truly say I have found my strength not just within myself, but also with those people who surround me, the ones who lend me their shoulder to cry on, who listen to my woes and make me smile and laugh again.
A entire sea of water cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside. Similiarly, the negativity of the world can't put you down unless you allow it inside of you.
And just for cliche finish: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger.
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